tired

tired of getting mad at everything
like i wake up mad everything makes me mad and i dont really go
to bed mad but i go to bed exhausted

mad just mad just mad at everything just mad at life
and i guess that makes sense

i am mad at life i’m mad at the suffereing
im mad that its all so pint

pointless and horrible

like why

all there is is suffereing and things
contatntly

constantly going wrong
nad i’m just over it i’m just mad at
all of it but im

im tired

tired of being mad at everything
tired of everythin gse

really setting me off and there’s nothing ic an do about ti

it

mad that someone is trying to help us
mad at the blessings

mad at the miracles

mad at all my friends
mad at stamps.com

mad at this dumb bio someone paraphrased from our bio
and it doesn’t make any sense

mad at this shitty photos with hands in them
and they couldn’t even wear gloves

mad at my neighbor for literally everything she does

mad at my bff for sending me
literally the dumbest text ever

mad at this stupid book i dont even care about
mad i have to spend all my time on it

mad everything takes so long
and the day is already gone and i just go up

mad at myself for getting mad about everything
mad the only thing that helps is weed
and then it just makes me tired

mad at being mad

SO MAD AT LIFE IN GENERAL

so mad at being mad i’m so over it

so. incredibly tired. of being mad.

mad that there’s never enough time in the day.

so mad at myself because i know
i am the source of the anger

and that is just

who i am that its so engrained in who i am
that it feels like a cant escape it
and even more mad
that
i feel so justified in my anger
because how could i not be mad????

at the whole shitty stupid world and everyone it in????

and i don’t know how
to escape it and im tired

of being mad about everything but there’s no way else for me to be

if i didnt care who would

mad that i cant feel normal unless i smoke

mad that this anger is inside me and it wont leave

it feels good to let it out
it feels good to let it all out and
i feel better

i just feel sad

for no reason really
just sad
just depressed just mad the day didn’t start out

exactly perfectly

which is my own doing my own perception

like hist shit happens who cares but i just
get so mad anytime something doesn’t go my way

or the smallest thing happens its like
the biggest deal to me i have no perspective
when its happening

my mind and thoughts and emotions
just get so clouded by anger
even though i know its irrational
and i am the source

which makes me even more mad

i didn’t ask for this

ididn’t ask to be conditioned this way
to have anger since i was a young child that i had to

push down and push down and push down
and even now

i feel like the only way is to push it down

but by talking about it and letting it out
i feel better i feel the weight lifted i feel
better i
feel able to cope i feel able
to allow things to happen through me

and i know its easy

with practice
it gets easier it gets easier
to not care and just focus on
the god self

on the chanting on the coutning

counting and when i focus on that
when i focus on that
when i focus on that

when i focus on the god selfwhen
i don’t get wrapped up in the thorught

through

thoughts then i feel great then
i feel the god self and i’m

not thinking about

this world i can keep my mind and thoughts
off this world and only

tend to the inner world i tend to the inner
world and i can learn to cope i can practice

and with practice i will

i get better at letting thigns
slide through me

at not getting involved

attached to the outcome

and i know its only me
time doesn’t matter this bogus deadline doesnt me

matter i cant wait to enjoy life again
without this dumb ass deadline looming
and then i will be like

i miss having a focuus and a deadline

who fucking cares
nothing matters least of all this dumb ass book

but this work is feeling better
this work always works and it i

i can always i can always
work back

move back up the emotional scale
and the contrast helps me
focus the contrast helps me focus
helps me know

helps me knokw what i need helps me
know the contrast

helps me focus the contast

the contrast the contrast helps me
and i know i can do it i know i can do it

i believe in myself i believe in myself
i believe in myself i know

i know myself i know myself i know myself

i know aht i am
what i am i know what i am

i know the truth of who i am and th
at knowledge will help me

lift the veil and focus on the god within
when i turn my focus totally toward the god within

nothing else matters and i know this
i know it doesn’t matter anyway

so i can just choose not to look at it
not to let it land on me i don’t hV

have to let it land on me i cna
stop right now i can have a good day
right now
i don’t have to let it land on me

i don’ thave to let it land on me