why

why do i come here why
can’t i start why can’t i feel good even though i
try

where’s my stuff where’s the evidence
why isn’t it here why hasn’t it fallen in my lap yet

why when it does won’t it be enough
to feel good why when it does will i feel worse

why do i have these limiting beliefs

why does it feel like i’ll never get away from them

i just feel like the day was wasted
nothing was accomplished
even though it was but i feel shitty about it
i hate a wasted day

i hate that i felt like shit
two days in a row

why can’ti focus why is it the way
i don’t want it to be

why do i see what i don’t want to see
why do i feel fed up why do i feel

broken why do i feel so over it like i’ll never
get there never get where i seek to be and
that’s because i’m seeking

there’s no need to seek when it’s right here
and you’ll never get there because you’re not looking in
the right place

you’re trying to get to something
becuase you want some kind of monetary payoff

so

obviously you’re not there
if you still need some kind of money
to prove it

but

at the same time
i also need money
or it would be nice to attract some
i guess i don’t need it but i feel

that it’s missing so

of course

it’s missing and its

depressing it makes it hard
to feel enthusiastic about life

even though

i know this is what i wanted

some down time
the freedome to

to do what i want
when i want so

i should be saying thank you

for all the free time

time to feel good time to bask in life time

to enjoy i have plenty of time
to do everything i want to do

i have more time

than anyone i’ve ever known or
seen and i love that fact

i relsih t

i relish that fact

i enjoy life i truly enjoy life
and i truly enjoy connecting with self

with god for

for the sake of doing it
i need to remember tat

that i don’ tdo this work for money
and that i will never need money to make

my life complete

but i feel better when i write
when i just atlk

talk about i feel better when i talk about
how i feel
it’s

it all feels so false sometimes
liek i’m climbing a false

mountain

but it’s really just a treadmill
trying and trying and trying to

‘get somewhere’

and never arriving never arriving never arriving
just

barely keeping my head above
treading water
so in edd

i need to just sink

sink to the bottom
where i odn’ thave to try don’t have
to strive
and

don’t have to chase

there’s no where to get to
to

there’s no place to arrive

it already is and i’m already
there i’m already here

i’m already here and now i’m
alrea

already here and now

i feel better when i’m here a

i feel better when i’m connected with
self when i find the truth within

when i can talk to myself wehn i’m not
just rushing through life

wehn i’m fully embracing life
when i enjou life
when i feel

the fullness of life when i feel the
fullness of self the truth

when i let go of trying so hard

i need to give up i need to give up and given in

give in to god

give my life over to god

i feel so grus
frustrated like i’m not making any progress
like i’ll

never feel the
feeling again like
i don

don’t even know
what the feeling is like
it doesn’t
even exist anymore like its not even real

i’m really not sure it is
like i talk about it all the time but do i even
know aht it is

do i really even know waht is

it is

this infamous feeling??

it’s the feeling of
checking out of worry

it’s the feeling of relief

it’s the feeling of releasing the mind
that is the feeling
it is the

feeling of relief that comes from

releasing

the mind

the relief of
not trying to get anywhere
not stry

trying to accomplish anything

just living just
enjoying what i’ve manifested
knowing that life

is unfolding life
is

unfolding life is unfolding and i can
take the big leap i can

believe in myself and my work
i

i release my fear of success

my fear of graduating to the
next level the

the fear of

so called

leaving my past behind

i’m here

i’m trying to much
to control
and i know in

i’m not in control
that i can only release control
and that my only control

is in releasing control

i am conscious of the inner presence

as my lavish abundance
i am conscious of the constant
activity of this mind of

infinite prosperity

therefore my consciousness is filled with the light of truth

i’m aware that i’m trying to control

a lot

and that i’m afraid to release control
so even though i really try

that’s still trying to control

to release control is not to try to release control
it is to release

so there’s no trying in trying there is still
control because you’re not just going there

it’s like the trying is in the trying to hold
on to physical reality

that requires much

more effort
more energy

than ‘trying’ to let go
because the instant you let go

you’re free
there’s no trying

it’s either on or its off

i am conscious of the inner presence

as my lavish abundance
i am conscious of the constnat
activity of this mind of infinite prosperity

therefore my consciousness is filled
with the light of truth

i can decide to feel good to look within
at the infinite abundance within
i can let go i let go and celebrate everything that is
i let go and celebrate everything that is

i don’t need things
or events to come into my life to prove
the existince of god

and i can rejoice in that knowledge no matter what
all day every day

i’m so luck for this day for this moment
for so much to enjoy in life so
grateful to get to

enjoy this day

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