Month: February 2017

is all i can ever do and
even if i feel an inkling
of the celebration feeling
i can feel it’s there and

all i can ever do is
let go of worry and fear i love
that i can always release worry
and fear and i can choose

how i talk to myself
what i think about myself and my
reality because i know what

i think about i bring about and
that is why i do this
work because it helps me

practice what i know
so today i intend to be aware of
what i am thinking and ask
myself if that is the version

i prefer.

even if you wake up
feeling not your best
that’s okay you still
don’t have to beat yourself
up looking for reasons to
hate on yourself and not enjoy
the day

you don’t have to figure out
why you woke up feeling that way
although it may help to inquire
you don’t have to worry about the
why just feel good now

i love the etsy notification

no matter how you’re feeling you can always make
the choice to feel the feeling of
hearing the etsy

cha ching sound

and hold on to that feeling in
the here and now
and the work has been good lately
because i feel myself
becoming more aware and

having more

getting strong at

not the words i’m
looking for

i can feel the
focus muscle

strengthening

i can feel that it’s
my choice where i focus i can feel that
it’s my choice where i focus
and how i feel and
whatever i don’t
want to feel
doesn’t matter and i love that

life is feeling

easier

i love that life is easy and it’s meant to be this
way i love that it flows to me and i love that i know
it’s all the energy i love saying

yes thank you

yes thank you i love that i
get to say yes thank you i love
that i get to be proud of who i am

i love that i can
allow myself

to
be
seen

you never saw me

maybe because i
didn’t want to be seen
or becaUSE

i didn’t see myself

and i can do that i can
choose to see myself and then i
don’t need you to see me

to have seen me and i can
also feel more and more that
i am letting go of old

resistant vibration

at this point i’m just tired of
carrying it around and i know

how pointless
and not me it is to hang
on to such old vibrations
ad it
s

it’s just getting easier
and easier to remember i don’t care it’s
getting easier and easier to slip back intot

the vibration of me and remember who i am
not be

afraid to remember that all there is
is the signal the energy i send to the situation
and i know that’s all i can do is

love all i can do is love all
i can do is love all i can do is love and i know

that’s all i can do
ad the mo

the more i
send the signal of love the
more that is what i see and
i amreme

remember that
i can be brave enough

to trust that

to look for what i want to
see and trust it i can feel myself
wanting to feel good and

the willingness
to choose it

the courage to choose it

it’s not about

force it’s
about courage

and i am willing to take
the gib

big leap every day the big leap

to enjoy life to love no matte what
and make the choice to send the signal of love

i am aware of

the signal i send the
the effects of that signal and i am
willing to send ths gian
the signal and i know

no matter how i wake up feeling
i can always feel for how

what i would prefer
and that’s all i can do and i

if i’m feeling something i don’t
want it’s because the other side of the
wave is there if i’m feeling

something i don’t want

it’s helping me focus on what i want

and little by little

i am getting there

i am feeling a little bit and a little bit
and a little bit better and

every little bit counts
it builds up to something

practiced

practiced bliss and i know it comes
it always comes and it feels good to
to know this to remember who i am
to do the work and

line up the energy to remember that
the energy is all there is and to feel

where my mind

always tries to go and it
feels good to

set myself free of that
to know that it’s just

a habit of thought ot think
to think but what would

this person

think of me if i let go of
everything and stopped striving
and did the one thing that i know
has the most powerful impact on my
life experience:

nothing

and i know this for a fact and the
more i do this work the more i remember it
the more i feel the feeling and
the power of me the more i feel the
feeling and the power of me
the more i know

it already is

thank you for this here and now
and i know that life
is always flowing perfectly through me life

is always flowing
perfectly through me and i am brave enough to zoom
out and see that i

zoom out and i allow myself
to enjoy this here and now this here and now

i am here now and i am god

i get to decide what i look
for what i want to see and i know
i know the power of me i am
willing to embrace the power of me

i embrace the power of me
i celebrate the power of me i am

brave enough to celebrate this day
i am brave enough to let go of

of everything and celebrate this day i know
all i can do is get out of the way and allow life
to flow through me i am allowing life to flow
and celebrating my god self

celebrating the fact that i never have to
worry and that life will always take care of me

celebrating that it always comes
it always comes it always flows straight toward me

the flow is flowing
to me to me to me to me and my only job
is to love i love that the owrk alw

the work always works and i ge tto get

i love that i’ve let that go
and i am now witnessing
life flow through m e

and that’s all i can ever do

born anew in this moment
allowing myself to live
without the pressures
or beliefs of the past
or the

wondering about the future
i love that i can exist freely in
this here and now without
wondering
or pining
or

allowing the
pain
the
baggage of the past

it feels good to feel
born again in this
here and now to feel like
my best self to allow my best self
int his here
this here and now and know
that it is possible

to feel born again
in every moment to feel
brand new to feel the
god self flowing
and know that that
the

the god self is always the
best self and it feels good to remember
that anything i could ever want
is

evidence of wanting

connection with spirit it feels good to
do the work in themoment
the moment and allow
this moment to be the

everything to be life this moment
is life and it feels good to celebrate this
moment

it feels good to feel

a sense of positive expectation
to love life in this right now
to allow myself to celebrate me and
celebrate my life inthis righ
this right now
it feels good to celebrate life in this

right now it freel

feels good to let it go it feels good
to let it go to let go of the flow
to feel the feeling in this here and now
it feels good to

to feel the feeling of the flow
fowi

flowing to me and know that i am a
match and it feels good to

relax intot he flo
intot he

into the flow of life

and it feels good feels good to celebrate life
in this right now to celebrate every moment
as if

i was just born it feels good to
experience life as a child would

with reckless abandon

with no filter
with celebration and play
it feels good to practice sending the
signal of love

and feel it coming back to me it feels good

to feel my situation improving
it feels good to feel that it’s working and that
it’s all me it feels good to celebrate life in this
here and now

i love feeling good i love
feeling the feeling of relief and i love that i know
this magick i’ve discovered is the
real deal so i do the work the only work
that matters and i find
myself in a magickal world

every single day i love that
each day i can feel i am letting go of more and more and allowing
myself to love more and more today i am
allowing myself to love

without fear that it will end today i am
allowing myself to appreciate to send the signal of love
and allow myself to receive it
i am allowing the flow

the love to flow through me the life to flow
through me the

breath
to flow through me and it feels good to
be able to say
that’s an old vibration it feels good to
love and feel loved it feels good to feel good in my life
to know that

every thing in life is a feeling
it feels good

to know that everything in life is a feeling

it feels good to feel the feeling
to know it’s only ever me and to celebrate this knowing
it feels good to celebrate the knowing of life
it feels good to celebrate the

knowing of life to say yes
to the dress

it feels good to feel good to practice this work
and know that this is the only work it feels
good to feel good about my work to celebrate life
to celebrate the work

it feels good to feel good
it feels good to
feel good to feel the feeling of yes it feels good

to feel the feeling of yes to do the work
and feel the feeling it feels good to know to know
it feels good to allow to know that it

already is and allow myself to settle into
that feeling it feels good to feel for it
and know that is
all there is is to feel the feeling it feels good

to feel the feeling to feel the
feeling of god within me and know that that

is all there is it feels good
to say yes to know to know that life

feels good it feels good to know that life
feels good it feels good to knowthat
life feels good flowing through me

it feels good to focus and want to do the work
to wake up feeling good and energized to feel myself

loving myself loving this day and
expecting the best of this day it
feels good to allow myself ot love
to love this right now to love the

journey to know that its all jut for
just for fun to know that

life is for fun

i love that i get to feel good
an nothi

and nothing can stop me i love that
i get to feel happy in this right now
i love that i get to say

yes thank you
i love that i get to say

yes thank you yes than kyou t
to this here and now and i love that i
get to feel it i love that i
get to feel the feeling of yes i love that i
get to feel the
feeling of yes i love
that i ge tto

to feel the feeling of yes i love
that i get to feel the feeling
of life i love that i
get to love

in this here and now i love that i
get to love in this here and now
and say yes thank you

for the flow i love that i get to

feel the flow i love that i get to
feel the flow the feeling of yes in this here and now
i love that i
get to feel the
the feeling of yes

in this here and now the power of the
the focus in this here and now i love that today
i feel good about myself nad i love
and i love that the flow

the work

is always flowing i ilove that
the flow is

is always flowing i love that
i get to feel good now i love that life is good and i
get to celebrate that and i love doing this
wrok be

work because it opens up a part of
me a magickal dimension of myself and i
come here to do this work to

re-discover that dimension
to remember i get to choose and celebrate that fact
to remember that it’s just

a simulation and i made it all
and it is all coming together
as i am creating it i love tha ti get to
to choose to celebrate this here and now
i love that
i get to choose to love i love

that i am allowing the best version i o

of myself i love

feeling

brand new i love feeling the promise of
something brand new

i love that i have a good life
i love that i
have a good life i love that i have
a good life i love that i
get to choose a good life i love
that i get to choose a good life i love
that i get to choose the
love of life i love that i get to choose
and i love

that i get to let the rest go i love
that i get to choose to

expect magick
get to choose to expect love and i love
that i am

letting the rest go i love
feeling free in my life i love
that it always comes by way of magick i love
that i know that

life reflects me i love
doingthis wor
this work and feeling good i love that
i know ther eis al

always more than enough and i love
allowing the

the enrgy

energy to flow i love

celebrating life

right now i love
celebrating life in this right now i love
that i ge tto
to

to send the signal of love and i know t
aht’s all

that’s all i can ever do i love that i
get to feel good inthis

here and now i lovethat

that i ge tto love me
in this here and now i lovethat
i get to love me i love that
i get to feel good i love

that i get to

love me

i can choose it in this here and now
and it’s not based on anything it
doesn’t matter what i

do

because i will feel the same no matter
what if i don’t address the real
cause of the feeling which is feeling
like i am not enough and that
feeling comes from feeling separate with source

but when i am separate from source
i feel that way and that is the only
ause
cause of the feeling and when i connect is
when i will feel better and

never before so all i have to do
is connect

choosing to celebrate what i created choosing
to celebrate this here and now choosing to celebrate this

here and now choosing to celebrate this here and now
choosing to celebrate this here and now
choosing to love myself no matter what and not
finding
any excuse

to beat up on myself

there’s no excuse for negative self
talk and what i truly should focus on
if nothing else is to eliminate that

line of thinking that i
am less of a person because of an
action i took or

because of something i wanted

and i am finding more and more the
balance between what i want
what i think i want and what i seek

as a replacement for

the
real
thing

and i am feeling connected
more and more with the real thing the
real thing with the process

of life with the process of life
with the process of life

with the process

of life with the process of life

it feels good to

feel the process of life it

feels good to feel the process
of life

it feels good to be aware of
the thought patterns and
be able to zoom out on them and
realize the root cause

of the suffering and to release
attachment to outcome and learn how to
love myself right now

no matter what that

is the work that is the only
work that matters and i do that work

first and allow the rest to follow

it feels good to feel practiced and
to feel the knowing

place of the vortex it feels good to
be able to get in to din

find the sweet spot easier and
easier and to feel calm about life
it feels good to

know how to transmute the
energy it feels good to
transmust the

the energy to choose to feel love
in this here and now it
feels good to choose to feel love in this
here and now cna

and choose to love myslef no
matter what and to know that the
real work is in
becoming ok with everything

that is

the real work is in bec

the real work is in
realizing that there is no good reason

to feel bad

thre’s

there’s no good reason to
feel bad and i can celebrate

doing that work knowing that
that work is the only work and that n

no amount of beating myself up

is ever coing

going to amount to

feeling better

it feels good to know that and
to do th wo
thte

the work surrounding that topic

to feel good ab

enough about myself to do the work that really matters

and make the choice to love
myself no matter what
my actions are

i love myself no matte what
my actions are and i can ask my

inner self what she thinks
and she doesn’t care

she never
stops

loving me and i know this
and i can channel this

energy into my life ican
i can challe

channel this

loving energy i channel the loving
energy the feeling of the now
the feeling of the now

i channel the energy of the now
and i allow myself to feel good about myself

no matter what that is all there is
i can feel the window

i sense the window
and i am ready to take the leap
into love

into loving for no reason
love myself for no reason
love others for no reason
and it feels like

spring

to feel energized it feels good
to feel

energized to love my life
to say thank you for this opportunity
to feel good now to

to let go fully it
feels good tocome
to come back to center to the point of

focus of the

truth it feels good to now to know the
truth to feel abo

good about myself in this
here and now it feels good ot

to let it go to be aware of it
and let it go it feels good to

allow life to flow through me to
do the work to

open the flood gates and

feel the energy of life no matter what
to

to talk
to
myself

it feels good
to talk to myself to feel
the feeling and know that the
the feeling always comes back
around

it feels good to be aware of
the energy and to be brave enough

to notice it and let it
go it feels good to get
ready to get ready to get ready
and allow myself to

raise my vibration
incrementally and feel those
increments it feels good
to feel the feeling of knowing

it feels good
it feels good to feel the
feeling to do the god work
and to

refuse to talk down to myself

refust to limit myself
by contraints and make

make the choice to love myself
no matter what and that

i can do right now
i canc h

choose to see life that way and i can
feel that it’s an obsessoin that

that i can transmuste and
i can choose to love myself
i can choose

self love i can choose to
be okay with who am

i am and celebrate it
i am not afraid to celebrate me
i am

i love who i am i love who i am
i love celebrating myself no matter what
and i love that i can
let go of

pesky thoughts
and just

enjoy this here and now

all i can do is enjoy this
here and now and love myself
no matter what i’ll love you self

no matter what you decide to do or
not do

i love myself no matter what
i am perfect how i am

and i know it’s only
ever energy and all i can
ever do is trust the flow the flow of life
the flow of life all i can
ever
do is trust the feelig right now
right now
remember iam

am the feeling remember to ask myself
how the source within me would feel remember to ask myslef

myself what the source within me
would think and it’s just that easy to

to remember who i am to come back to center to do the work the only work that matters it feels

good to do the only work that matters it feels good to do the only work that matters to do the only

the only work that matters it feels good to

feel good to feel the
feeling the feeling the
only thing
the only thing that matters the feeling the

feeling

the

it feels good to do the only work
that matters to let go
of old burdens i don’t need to carry any more and lean intot he
flow
the flow andl ove thi
m

this oment
om

moment in this here and now this
here and now

this here and now

thank you ht
thank you thank you for this
here and now for the
feeling for

music

it all comes back to
love and wanting to freely express love
feeling free to express love

not needing to be loved
but wanting to express the love within
me

freely and it feels good to fully
express the love within me
it feels good

to fully express

it feels good to feel good inthis
very moment remember who ia m
remember that i am god and trust that

embrace it feels good to
embrace my god self and love it it
feels good to embrace my god
self and

love it it feels good to embrace my god self it feels good to
trust my god self it feels good to

trust my god self it feels good to trust
my god self my god self the

god self within me it feels
thank you for this right now for the

ability
for the

thing in me that alow
allows me to love this moment to remember
that i’

it’s whatever i choose and i never
have to wonder thank you for the
space to do the work
for

noticeable improvement
so grateful for this day so
grateful for a place to live for a computer
for a friend for coffee for my wife for the
flow

for trigger point therapy
for abraham for good brunch for good weather
coming for less mills for the
best work of my life
for compliments

want to want to want to
and feel the vibration of it and i do
this work because i know i am
only vibration and that
anything i ever want

that’s outside of me
is evidence of me wanting
to come into alignment with the pure vibration
of me and when i am in
in tune with that vibration i know that
everything

already is

i love that it feels like and
old vibration and i’ve let that go i love that
today i am allowing myself to love myself

today i am allowing
myself to love myself in this here and now
and enjoy this day

today i am i love that i get to choose
to love myself right now i love that i
get to feel good right now i love that
i get to feel good right now
get to love

right now i love that i get to love
right now get to feel the feeling right now i love that
i get to feel the feeling
right now i love that i

get to feel the feeling right

i know that it’s only ever a vibration i love
that iknow that i love that i know that
and i can choose how i vibrate i know that it
already is

it alraedy is

everything already is it already is i know that

thank you

for helping me remember the focus remember who iam
that i am

spirit and that’s all and i could
never hope to

make anything happen
because the energy that creates worlds

flows through me and i can only
observe

i’m not the one that makes it happen i observe
and choose and then it happens and that’s why life is

so fun

is because i get to choose
i love that it always comes back

around i love that i
get to feel the feeling now i love

that i get to crack the code always crack the code i love that i can
always crack the code i love that
i get to feel good now take the
big leap right now

take the big leap right now i love that
i get to feel good now love my life right now

choose the version i prefer
and allow it to undold

unfold choose the version i want and know
that it is

line p up the enegy energy and then
and that’s all i can ever to
do an that

tha’s
that’s what i come here to do is remember who i am
r

to remember i am perfect how i am
it feels good to line up the energy to say

yes thank you to make the choice to feel
the energy i am putting toward something
and realize

that energy is creative energy it feels good to line up
the energy to remember tho

who i am to celebrate this life to
lean into the flow to lean into

the flow it feels good to feel the feeling now to amke
the choice right now to lean into the flow and
allow

the rest to follow it feels good to allow myself to
feel good and celebrate this day this
here and now and know that i don’t have to change a thing
to say thank

thank you
because it

always comes to me

to say thank you because it
always comes to

it feels good to line up the energy to remember who

who i am and remember i am
the creator to remember tho

who i am
and to remember i am the creator it feels good
to remember who i am
it feels good to remember who

i am and ermember
that i am the creator t
it feels good to be a match to know where ia m
right now it feels good to love me
inthis

this here and now it feels good to love me in this
here and now to choose the version i want and then
feel my way toward that feeling
and that’s what getting
ready to get ready means

it means feeling for the feeling
of what you want and preparing yourself for it
inching your way close to the feeling
because you won’t see the thing until

you feel the feeling
until you are barv

brave enough to not need the thing
to feel the feeling

yes han

thank you thank you for helping me
see it it feels good to feel it

to feel the feeling for myself
to love myself complete and not

not care what enayone
anyone else thinks it feels good to do it
in this here and now
to lean into the flow it feels
good to lean into the flow!

to feelt he moment
the momentum rising it feels good to
feel good about myself to want
to feel good about my mabout

myself it feels good to wnat to feel good

to feel the
the life flowing through me
it feels good to feel

life flowing through me to feel the flow
lo

of life to want to lean intot he
flow

to choose!!

yes@!!!!

yes this is good life is good
and life loves me and it iwll o

only ever be right now
so i am brave enoouigh

to love and that is how

ex
i express the fulles expression

of me

it feels good to lean into the flow
to make the choice for how i want it to
be ro

to remember rmem

remember its only ever vibrationa
and to love this rhe
here and now because tha’s all

all i can ever do it
feels good to love me in this here and now
to feel the feeling in this
here an

and now to focus the
feeling in this here and now
to say yes thank you in this
here and now and know it allways

always comes inthis
here and now it’s the

goddamn

energy
that
creates
worlds

flowing through me

and all i can do is observe and
decide what i want and expect that
is what it is

expect

it feels good to ex

means

increments
means feeling relief in this
here and now which leads to

more relief which leads to
more relief which leads to
more relief
and

that’s all that matters and i love
that i get to remember who i am
and that with a little help i can bring the
focus back to my vortex and my vibration

and remember that
it is all that matters
all that will ever matter is feeling
good and i am brave enough to

celebrate the secret of life i brave enough
to celebrate the secret of life i

without caring about what anyone else thinks i love that
ig et t

get to celebrate life i love that i get to
to do the work i love that i get to feel the feeling i love
that i get to feel the

feeling i love that i get to

to feel the feeling i love
where i am in this here and now i love

that i get to feel the
feeling i love that i get to

go
for
it

i love that i get to

i love
that i ge tto feel the feeling now
and i lov that

the magick of

it’s already done i love
that i’ve let that go and i am allowng myself
myself

to be

my best self i love that iam allowing
myself to be my my best self

i am allowing myse b

my best self to flow and that’s all i can
ever do

is feel more relief i love that i can
finally let go of all the pain
and suffering
and wondering if i am good enough

and embrace that i am

i love that i am
good anouth

enough i love that i am
good enough i love that i am
the i am god

i love feeling the feeling i love
feeling the feeling of me i love that i
get to choose this here and now and i love

that it already is i love that it
already is and i love

that i am brave enough

to see the
the truth i love that i know that life
is a lot mor magikc

magickal than most people allow and today i renounce my
humanhood and celebrate the magickal

energy that
is life i know that life is only energy and
that i can choose to feelt he fee
the feeling and let the rest go i love
that i kno

i love that i never have to
act or sonder

wonder all i can do
can do is line up the energy and know
that life

is only

energy

love doing the work and
feeling good about myself and my life and that is my o

my only job here and

is to tend to the energy
all i can ever do is tend to the energy
and know that that
is all there is

in life
is

energy i love that i know this i love
feeling the relief of the truth

flowing through me i love
feeling the
relief of the flow

flowing through me i love that i know
the relief is always tirhg

right there i love that i know the
relief is always right here

the relief is always

right here and today i get to
renounce my humanhood

which is so fun
it’s so fun to celebrate life knowing that
nothingm atter

matters and not needing anything
it’s so fucn t

fun to tune myself to the vibration of god
and feelthe go
the god within me who knows
that life is just meant

to be fun and everything
i’ve ever wnated

wanted

already is

so grateful to listen to some
abe yesterday that helped me remember
who i am that helped me remember
that it’s only ever vibration
and ifyou

you spend your entire day looking at what
is you will keep creating what is but if you are brave
enough to look beyond what is and become a match to

what you’ve created
then you start to become a match to
that and then you start to see it
and i knw this

this is true only through life
experience

i love that i get to make the choice
not to allow anything to

make me feel

bad

i love that i get to do the woek t
he

the only work i love that
i love that i get to do the only work
i love

that i get todo
to do the only work which is to

i love that i don’t have to care i love
that i know the magick of me and that’s
all i need to know in life

we found

our van we found our van we found our
van i love that it always just comes perfectly to me i love tha t
life fflow

flows perfectly to me i love that life
flows perfectly to me

i love doing this work and feeling
good i love that i feel good today i love that i
get to to
choose to feel good i love
that i

i feel that the work is working
and grateful to remember that this

this work i do

is real this is real and iknow that
i know that one person in the vortex is
far more powerful
than someone who is not and i know this

for a fact

i know this for a fact and i know that
it’s time to stand up and

say something

so i’m saying it haha

it feels good to feel good
to like myself enough to wnt to

wna tt

want to do nice things for my body
it feels good to feel good in my body and not
hate my body it feels good to
feel good in my body to love me

it feels good to to
to do the work and love me it feels good to
to love me

it feels good to focus and do the work
to love me it

it feels good to love me
to know the owrk

the work is working to

feel good aoub

about this day it feels good to feel boo

good about his day this day to feel
happy in this day it feels good to surrener
to do

to do the work to do the only work that matters

to do theonly o

work that mattes
to listen to abe and herea

hear the truth

thank you for this moment thank you
for this day thank you for hleping

hepling me re

helping me remember who i am and
remember that i am meant to be happy and
feel good today i feel good

todayi love love i ove

i love myself and today i am leaning into the flow
i love the better it gets i love that i’ve let that
go i love

wanting to feel good i love that
today i get to celebrate life
that i get to lean intot he fl
into the flow and feel the feeling of

love to feel the feeling of my
heart singing and i love that i
get to let everything go that i get to

believe in myself i love
that i get to
believe in myself i love that i
get to ee

feel good now and let the rest go i love
that i feel relaxed i love that i get to

to feel good i love that i getto
to celebrate this day i love
thta i

that i get to feel good now i love tha t
i gt

get to celebrate this day i love that i
get to love me inthis here and now i lov th
that i get to believe in myself i love

that i
get to feel good now i love that i
get to love me in this here and now i love
where i am in this this here and now
i love that i
get to love me

in this

here and now i love

where i am right now i love the power of me
in this here adn now
and now i love

i love waking up doing the work i love
feeling the feeling of believing my

in myself and my reliaty

reality i i love that i know
that i know it already is how i want it to be i love
that i know
i love i ove

love where i am right now i love
where i am right now i love
that i get to feel good

i love that i get to experience the
magick of life the flow of life i love that i know who i am
i love the feeling of waking up in the dream i love
that it’s always there and always flowing and i

don’g

maked it happen
because it’s already there and i love
the better it gets i love that
i get to

refuse to suffer t

refuse to feel bad about anything
i love that i get to chooseto

to feel good about that i love
that i love that today is a good day andi
get to celebrate life

flowing through me

i love that it’s a good day i love
the power of me i ove
i love the feeling of me i lve

i love the the
feelig of
feeling of me i love the feeling of me i love the
feeling of me i love
the feeling of me i love

the feeling of me i love doing the work
to celebrate life i love

remembering and
embracing the magick

that is me and allow it to flow

i love allowing it to flow
i love allowing the god self

to show and i never have to wonder i love
that i know

i never have to wonder
if it already is the
way i want it to be