am i really doing the work or just saying i’m doing the work

i know the best way to
‘make progress’

is to just talk myself through it
and through awareness i am able to let go
of thought patterns it feels like

i’m always

trying

to get there to get here
to get to the here and now
i’m always trying to get here and no

matter how HARD i try i can’t get above water
can’t feel like

i’ve made progress
and i know that trying
is what pushes it way

aways but

then what do i do then
but i know i’ts not
not bab
about oding it

it’s not about trying

it’s about the opposite
but it still feels like trying
but i guess this really doesn’t feel like trying

this feels like nice
easy conversation
allowing this feels like allowing and iknow that
is the feeling but how i do i allow
without tryig i know
i know it’s just there
but how do i get there i know i can’t
get there because it’s already here

but how

stop asking how i guess
because every time i ask how
it feels like trying but then
if i don’t ask how i feel like

i’m not doing the work i’m not
connected with god i’m not looking for
god if i’m not looking for god

how can i find it and i guess that
is the point because if i am looking for
it

i am looking for it making a version
where i am looking for it but
if i stop looking for it

it’s there.

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