i’m here

and i remember who i am i remember the power of me

yes

i had been longing
i noticed that i was longing and i also noticed
that i want’ing lo

wanted longing to be my companion
i was lonely
so i chose longing instead of god

i chose what i had practiced i chose
what had filled me up??

i the past not that it filled me up
it actually drrained me of everything i truly was but

for some reaons
it made me feel full
because it empteied out all my other emotions??

but it dien’t take long to remember who and what i am
to remember that all that longing does
is perpetuate longing and if i ever want to feel
better
i ahve

i have to tunr my turn my focu within g
you

can’t long for god because as soon
as your attentio is on it

its there its always there
but you forget so you look for anything else
to feel that

fill that hole and then you
tell yourself you’re not good enough if it doesn’t
figt

fit

but nothing will ever fit in that hole
besides you besides yourself
you have to put you in yoursle
f

fillyour hold with you

i’ here

i’m here remembering to choose i’m here

and i’m choosing the feelign i want to feel
becausee that is my power
and i nkow
that i

it doesn’t feel good to just
hand over my power to someone sle

especiallys omeone who doens’t want it

so grateful to be here remembering who i am
evern though i don’t want to haha

even though it almost feels better for some reaosn
to long and push something away

keep pushing the more i long and to fall back into that
horrible pattern of wanteding something i’ll

never?

have lol

but what feels better

is to remember who i am to remember who i am
what i am what feels batter

better

is to choose it now choose ir

it right now choose the o=the
power of em

choose the feeling i prefer right now
choose to have it right now

i do have it i do have love but i want

validation lol
i want

whtaever i dont have lmao

what do i want????

wnat

what do i want????

that feeling of lust for life
the feeling of lust???

i know i know its all me i know its all me
i now w
evern

even that thingn i long for is me ia
and i know it feels better to
choose it than want tit

how does it feel go

to choose

likke relief
like relief
like

knowing like choosing my cpower
liike taking back y \

my power like

likeing myself

so grateful to be here remembering who i am
instead of looking for myself outside of me

and i remember the power of me
the worth of me i remember my own worth my

i look at my own life and i say thank you

i am here now i am here

i am engaged in this life now and i know that
soemthing outside of me
isnt’ it
so i can

choose that feeling i so despartely

desparately want from someone else

the feeling of

what is it???

the feeling i want??

i crave???

lust for life something to care about
soemthing to be engaged in a reason to live

loved

noticed

desired

kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

fun
it’s always something outside of you that
you think is going to solve yoru life

but if you had that thing

then it would be soemthing else

someone sels

else some other situation
or achievenment

[that feeling

id ont even have to name it
i can just choose it i can just choose it

i can just choose

and i know its me i know its me
i am the source i am the sourceo f the feeling
the feeling of lust
for life

the feeling of loving life of being engaged in life
some

something to love someone to love

so gratefult ob e here now to be here nwo
to feel the feeling now to be

here choosing the feeling and i eve
even though i dont feel better at least i tried

i still want the theing the thing the thing
i have no reason to wnat the thing
i can’t even say way

why i want it or what feeling it feels like
but i want it

i wenat

i want it because i think i cant’ have it
and os it make sme anw

wnat it and it makes me feel that there is
somehting missing somehting
that i could have had should have had but dont
and never will

there
right there that is the evidence
of pushing it wa

away this

unnmaed thing this thing that i dtn

really even wwant that i cant even really fathom having

yes yes yes yes i’m saying yes to all of it
and that’s all i can do is just say yes

all ic an do

is say yes all i can do is say yes

accept it accept it i accept it all ica nd o

can do is accept it

i say yes to it and i allow life to
pull the enerty

energy through me i know i am the source
and i know that all of life is flowing to and through me

so how i

would i feel if i knew that

if i choose knwoing how would it feel to chosoe knwoing
instead of logning

to choose my own value
instead of haing

handing it over to someone else

and always

also celebrating what i have knowing that the love is
ther ei know

i know that the love is there and at least there iss that

i can choose how i feel about it
can

idk why this is coming up
i know its a pattern lol
so i am saying yes to it and allowing it to flow throgh me
i all

i allow myself to feel it i allow myself to feel filled up
without needing anyting to fill me